Healthy thinking through positive cognitive mindfulness is a marvelous way to live your life. Always coming from a positive point of view makes you a magnet that people naturally want to get to know better. I'm sure you've met someone that seems delightful, outgoing, secure, and magnetic — well, they're living a life of positive cognitive mindfulness, and that's the exact reason why you're attracted to them.
To help you out, and to get you on your way to success, I've shared some of the top positive cognitive mindfulness traits that you can grab hold of relatively quickly, and incorporate into your everyday interactions with people. Remember, reading these and not doing anything with them, is not going to help you out — you need to grasp hold of them, study them, and embody them, for them to work. You're going to get what you put in.
Focus on the Positive
When you focus on the positive, every situation turns out better. Yes, it may be a terrible situation that you're going through, but letting the negative enter into your mind and eat away at you is not going to help. It's only going to exacerbate the situation at hand, and it's just going to cause more stress. Look at the glass as half-full for the best results. Whether you believe it or not, there's a positive in every situation; it's just that sometimes it takes a little more time than usual to be uncovered. If you give up, you don't stand a chance at finding it, so keep your head up, stay positive in every situation, and you'll eventually get through and find your way.
Have Some Grey Areas in Your Thinking
It doesn't always have to be black and white. You don't always have to be right, either. There's no sense in fighting with someone over something that's in the grey area. It's good that you feel strongly about something, but going too far to the extreme in any one direction can hurt relationships. You may think you're the law, but you're not, so let people be who they are, and learn to work with them according to their strengths and weaknesses. In most people's lives, the grey area consumes most of the interactions throughout the day, but our mind wants to go black or white, so stay on track by being thoughtful, caring, understanding, and compassionate. It just works better this way.
Give People a Chance
Not every person is going to have the same skills. Don't assume they're going to know how to do something if they've never appropriately trained to perform a particular task. Everyone needs an opportunity. I don't care where a person is from, what type of upbringing they had, or didn't have — everyone deserves a chance to prove their value. The real gems are in the person that gets a chance, takes full advantage of it, and excels beyond anyone's expectations. Success stories like this all start with one main action — that person being given an opportunity. Sometimes multiple chances are needed. We're all human here, and we're all going to make mistakes. I know it may be tough, and outside guidance from a trained professional may be needed, but being understanding, and giving people a second chance, is the best way to go.
Never Jump to Conclusions
Listen to what happened, why it happened, gather some supporting evidence, and then make a decision on how you'd like to handle things. Always ask questions and never assume. Take the time to listen. Making quick and uneducated decisions, typically compounds the situation and makes things more difficult to straighten out later. Take the time to understand the situation in full before you react. The idea is to put the effort in upfront and resolve any issues, so you can move forward, free and clear, of any unfavorable circumstances moving forward.
Be Responsible for You
The reason you want to be responsible for yourself is that you don't have control over everyone and every situation that occurs. It all needs to start with you. If you're not acting responsibly yourself, how is anyone else going to look up to you and believe in what you're saying? Back up your words, with your actions. There's no sense in blaming yourself for everything that happens. You're not able to control or stop everything that's going to happen, so the best thing you can do is adapt and evolve along with every situation. Do the best you can, let people know your boundaries and expectations, and stay positive for the best results.
It Just Has to Be Right
Not everything in life is fair, and that's because every situation has different rules. In some countries, one thing is legal, wherein other countries, it's illegal — whatever the case, it's up to you to understand what's right, and then abide by those rules. Read the guidelines so that you protect yourself. Understand the disciplinary measures in breaking the rules, and then get on board and work within the rules to maximize your efforts in whatever you're looking to achieve. Breaking the rules is never advised, but pushing the limits is something you're going to need to do if you want to get ahead. If you have to question if what you're doing is right or wrong, it's probably wrong, so seek guidance before you jump in and get started on something that's going to lead you down a negative path that you don't want to go down.
Never Blame Shift
If there's one thing you never want to do, it's blame shift, i.e., transfer a mistake you've made to another person. This is a quick way to lose relationships. Learn to take on responsibility and to be fully accountable for your actions. Shirking responsibility and pushing it on someone else is going to hurt you, and it's going to compound the situation by hurting the other person or people involved as well. Not blame-shifting comes down to you, being responsible for you. If something happened, and you're to blame, let people know why the mistake happened, what exactly happened, and what you're going to do so that it never happens again. Like I mentioned above, we're all human, and we all make mistakes, so fess up if you messed up, take responsibility, and move on.
Drop the Words Should, Could, and Would
All three of these words will lead you nowhere. They're all past tense and position you as a failure. Let me give you a few examples: "I wish I would have done this," or "I should have done this," or "If I could only have this one thing, everything would be great," you see what I'm saying? Using should, could, and would all put you in a position of feeling less than. Well, I'm here to tell you, "You're more than those words are worth." Instead of using "should," try saying it like this instead, "Maybe next time I'll try it this way." Do you see the simple transition? Of course, you do. Using the right vocabulary and laying out things in your head before you say them can make a huge difference in how you feel about yourself.
Make Decisions Based on Information
Set yourself up for success by understanding everything that's going on in your life. Your gut, i.e., intuition, is vitally important, but you always need to put some facts behind it as well. In simple terms, "Don't be irrational with your decision-making process." Sometimes our emotions will get the best of us, and we'll make a big decision based on how we feel, which may not be really how the situation is because we're not in the right emotional state to make the proper decision. I'd suggest that before you make any big decisions that you give yourself some time to think about it and to work out all the details on paper. Gather all the facts, see how you feel, then make the decision.
You Need to Change
Relationships that surround you are always going to be in flux, so the faster you realize that it's you that needs to adapt and change, not the world, the better off you'll be. I'm sure you've heard the quote, "The situation doesn't determine your success; it's the way that you react to it that does." Some people are just flat out crazy, and when you try to change a crazy person, you know what happens, right? You end up being the crazy one — so don't worry about the crazies or what they're doing; avoid them, alter your behavior for the positive, and move on with your life. Control what you can control, and that's only yourself most of the time.
Stay Away From Judging People
You don't know what someone is going through or had to go through to get to where they are today. Whether a person had a gifted or rough upbringing, don't judge them; just look at who they are today as a person. Looking at people from only the outside and judging them by appearance is selling yourself short. Get to know people, listen to them, find out their story, and be the helping hand when needed. Yes, it's easy to judge people right away because our mind naturally does it this way. Train yourself to hold back on that initial judgment for a few minutes until you can find out a bit more about the person; it will open up some new relationship opportunities for you. Grouping people into categories isn't a good idea to do either — just because one person does something; it doesn't mean that everyone is going to do the same.
You Don’t Always Need to Be Right
No one is always right; it's ok. Share what you know, and don't try to extend the truth to make yourself sound better. You're not on the playground in first grade anymore, be an adult, and when you're wrong, promptly admit it. Sometimes finding out that you're wrong can be just as exciting as you thinking that you're right because you realize that you won't be spreading junk information anymore. There's nothing incorrect with being wrong about something, admitting it, and moving on, but there is something wrong with knowing you're wrong, sticking to your guns, and just continuing to make a fool of yourself.
Do a Kind Act Because You Want To
If you want to feel fulfilled, or like you're a more significant part of a whole, give back at every opportunity you get. There's nothing more rewarding than helping out a person, or an organization, that needs it. Yes, money is great, and it's probably the preferred method for most organizations, but time is necessary as well. People need people, they need emotional support, they need to feel loved, and money isn't able to do this — only one human with another human can transfer these ever so essential feelings. When giving back, do it for the right reasons without expecting anything in return. If you give naturally for the right reasons, you'll get back ten-fold what you put in; you just need to hang around long enough and look hard enough to find it.
There you have them. All the positive cognitive mindfulness traits that you can quickly implement in your life. Like I mentioned above, you get what you put in, so study these, implement them, practice them, and you'll be on your way to a marvelous way of life. Remember to always come from a positive point of view, and wake up in the morning with the intent to be helpful and useful.
Brandon Schaefer: Leadership Development
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